Three Worries About Your Guests That You Can Definitely Get Over Now

Photo: John and Colette Photography via Reverie Gallery Flowers: Inessa Nichols

Wedding Season is in full swing – let the panic about what could go wrong begin! By this time, friends, family, and the internet have full vetted you on the perils of guest management. Guests must be coddled, or treated like adults, or manipulated, or entertained constantly, and they definitely, DEFINITELY need to be fed and provided with copious amounts of alcohol at all times. And, yes, heh, these are all true. My couples are in different planning stages right now, but the same three concerns have come up in the past two weeks:

1. My guests won’t RSVP by the deadline.
 Is this true? Yes, at least 5% of your guests will not RSVP on time. At least that many.

Why? They got busy, they forgot, they are always like that (you know who I’m talking about), they think they already did, or you should know that they’re coming/not coming.

What can I do? It’s going to happen, so have a plan. Schedule some time a week after the due date to contact the MIAs. If they’re on your parents’ or your fiance’s lists, give them those names – and this is important – a specific date no more than a week in the future to get responses. Preface the request with the phrase, “I need your help.” One of my favorite sayings is, “The presence of fear is an indication that you are relying on your own strength.” Ask for help from those who are in the best position to help you.

2. My guests will bring physical gifts to my wedding.

Will it happen? Oh, yeah.

Why? They didn’t have enough time to ship it to you before the wedding, so they picked it up themselves and brought it over. Or, they wanted to give you something that wasn’t on your registry. Again, the majority of your guests will ship their gifts, or bring a card with the “gift” in it.

What can I do? Couple of things: Designate a table for the gifts and and gift card box. Or ask, a family member or your coordinator to watch out for guests with heavy boxes and put them in a pre-determined safe place.

3. My guests will jump up and block my professional photographer during the ceremony.

Will it happen? They will definitely take pictures, but you can slow their roll a little.

Why? Everyone is excited, and they all want to take their own shots. After all, what is a wedding hashtag for?  They mean well, and honestly, it isn’t that they don’t care that they’re in the way, they don’t realize it.

What can I do? Right before the ceremony begins, have your officiant or your coordinator ask your guests to either turn off their phones (this won’t happen) or to please stay out of the aisle and out of the way of your photographer. It also helps to have the photographer wave at that point, so they can see the actual person who you’re paying thousands of dollars to.

Of course, there are a ton of other questions that come up: Will someone show up in jeans to my wedding? Yes. I’m serious, this happens at EVERY wedding. Will guests be late to my ceremony? Yup. Will guests try and change their meal choice at the reception? Yes, but let the caterer handle that.  Your job is to remember that this is not personal, this is all on your guests. Be as proactive as possible, laugh or roll your eyes when it happens (not in front of them, though), shrug it off, and enjoy the day. It’s still going to be a really cool day.

What else do you want to know about your wedding? Complete the form below to request a consultation, or click the link at the bottom of this page to jump on a live chat with me now.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith

p.s. I’ve also been getting a lot of calls this month from couples who still need a wedding venue – like, more than usual! Wedding Wire has a great search page for that, click here to check it out.