Ask Liz: Bare vs. Ballroom Venues

Dear Door,

You know, I love this question, and it’s comes up a lot with my couples. Is it cheaper to have a “bare” wedding venue, where you have to bring everything in, or a “ballroom” venue, where everything you’ll need is already there? Obviously the barn isn’t a ballroom, but you know what I mean. Once you start pricing chairs and tables and silverware and linens and a bar and stocking the bar and servers and oh, yeah, bartenders, you’re looking at some good money. Which one is less expensive?  As it turns out, the only way to find out  is to finish crunching the numbers. It looks like it will cheaper to go ballroom, but what about after you add in tax and service?  What are your bar options and how much do those cost? Is a cake included?

When it comes to rentals, catering, and service at his Dad’s place, you will have a little more control over the content and the costs. Be realistic about what you’re going to need (hints: 250 plates for 100 people is actually the correct number. And, yes, you are going to need extra trash cans). Count taxes, service charges, and delivery (!), too. Compare apples to apples, and decide.

Bonus Question:

Dear Liz,
I just got engaged. Where do I start? I assume with venues, but there are so many. Also, how do you ask family/parents if they’re able to contribute to the wedding?
Signed,
Starting Gate Jitters

Dear Jitters,
Wow, these are like QUESTIONS OF THE WEDDING UNIVERSE, here. I feel like I should yell, “Forty-Two!” and run away. Bonus points if you got that reference.

So, first things first. Yes, you would start with finding a venue. Actually, you would start with a budget, and then with a venue, since your venue and catering…are going to take up half your budget. Determining that budget? Cost of Wedding will show you what the average wedding budget is in your area. Before you die of sticker shock, remember 1. It’s an average, which means it’s possible to spend less, just as it’s possible to spend more, and 2. The #1 rule of sticking to a budget is “stick to your budget.” Anything is possible, some things take a little more work. Bottom line: Pick an amount that you’re comfortable with.

I wrote a bit here about finding a wedding venue, but basically, think about what you want your wedding to look like – outdoors, ballroom (real or metaphorical), ocean view, what have you. Herecomestheguide.com is a really good resource for finding what’s available near you, as is weddingwire.com, or theknot.com. Or google, even.
The best way to ask your family if they are contributing is just to take a deep breath and do it. Bring specifics, such as what your overall budget is, or exactly what you would like them to help with and for how much. Venue fee? Flowers? Whatever they can spare? They will ask, so have an answer.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz

What questions do you have about your wedding? Contact me to schedule a free consultation so you can tell me about it.

The original version of this article appeared in my column on The Broke-Ass Bride