Ask Liz: No. Nopity Nope. Absolutely Not.

Posted: December 24, 2015

I went through my Ask Liz archive on Pinterest, and found this one from  The Broke Ass Bride a while back. I’ve been fighting the flu for the past few days, and ordered on several fronts to take a break.But I  wanted to give you something before Christmas. It’s an oldie but funny goodie. And, yes, it’s a bit judgemental, but I can live with that: 

Awesome classic Gap bootcut jeans

I love these, I have these,but I also have clothing that’s more appropriate. Choose wisely. Photo: The Gap

Dear Liz:
 
What’s bugging me about my wedding? To be honest, not much yet, except for something that came up again today during a recent visit with my fiance’s parents. My FMIL is aware that we are intending to have a “casual” wedding. We are very laid back people, so  the term “casual” is a reference to the vibe we want to maintain for the event. Our reception is outside and  I’m not walking down the aisle to the traditional wedding piece, but rather one of our favorites songs. Instead of our dudes wearing tuxes, they’re wearing suits or perhaps no jacket at all. And my chicks are wearing black dresses of their own choice/brand/store.
 
Now, I’m not saying our guests have to black tie it up for this shindig, but we aren’t really TELLING people it’s casual. While I’m very open minded, I’m still traditional in the thought that you dress up for weddings unless it’s otherwise noted. The problem here is that when my FMIL hears “casual” she relates this to blue jeans. She’s actually asked if she can change into them for the reception.  And she told us today that she informed her sister of our “casual wedding” and her sister plans to wear jeans. Yeah, this bugged me.
 
I realize I cannot control what people wear, but I don’t want my FMIL going around telling people to wear jeans. Am I crazy for letting this bother me? Up until this point, I’ve been extremely relaxed about all details of the wedding, so I don’t want this one to set me off. What would you do?
Signed,
Not as Casual as I thought. 

Dear Casual,

Well, first I would put my head on a desk and bang it against the surface a few times. Oy. Then I would remind your FMIL – politely and calmly –  that odds are she’ll be the only woman wearing jeans, and you expect that every other woman there will be wearing a dress, from the time the ceremony starts to the end of the reception. Better yet, mention what your mother will be wearing. That way, if she does show up in denim, she can’t say you didn’t warn her. Ask her son  to talk to her, too.  Encourage him to use the words “Should wear a dress.” No one wants their mother to be embarrassed at their wedding, or really, ever. And you know, pictures. She might be kidding. If not, good luck.

Liz-0003See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith
Silver Charm Events
www.silvercharmevents.com
liz@silvercharmevents.com
323-592-9318

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