Ask Liz: Tough RSVP Convos are TOUGH.

Posted: July 11, 2014

While The Happy Bride Project is slowly turning into The Fearless Wedding Project, I’m bringing the advice column over here. Let me know what you think.

These Things, Man.


Dear Liz, 

Our RSVP cards have begun to arrive in the mail! I found myself in a state of disbelief when I opened an envelope containing a card filled in with “Mr. X, Mrs. X, and 18-month-old Baby X will be attending.” Why disbelief? Because the invitation was addressed to Mr. X and Mrs. X only. We are not having any children at our wedding per my parents– who are 100% footing the bill. My fiance and I were in agreement until this happend. Now my fiance is upset that he has to tell his friend he cannot bring 18-month-old Baby X to our child-free wedding. I am, naturally, caught in the middle. Can you advise me on how to handle all parties in this situation (parents, fiance, X family…)? Thank you! 

Signed, 

 No Extra Guests Please

Dear No,

It’s a tough conversation, but if accommodating his friend’s child isn’t possible, then you or your fiance are going to have to tell him that – that your contract with the venue does not allow children to attend, which is why you’re having a child-free wedding. You don’t have to go into why they put their child’s name on the RSVP in the first place  or that your parents are paying for it and it’s a budget issue. 
You don’t have to apologize.  Just, it can’t happen, and you hope that he and his wife will be able to find childcare arrangements and attend on their own. That last part is important. Keep it casual, and keep it quick. 
Seriously, though. You’re either going to have the tough conversation with your friends, or a tough conversation with your parents. Pick one. 
See you at the end of the aisle, 
Liz Coopersmith
Silver Charm Events
323-592-9318

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