Ask Liz: Your Venue Manager vs. Your Coordinator. GO!

The original question came from my column  a ways back on The Broke Ass Bride. The answer has been updated, because there is so much more, you guys!

Photo: Sweet Bloom Cakes

Dear Liz,
I really like the idea of asking a friend to be a stage manager for the wedding, or possibly hiring a professional as a day-of coordinator. The venue where we’re getting married has their person, who is the one managing both the catering and the venue logistics. She said she wouldn’t recommend bringing a planner in, since they tend to be grumpy, and she’s got it covered. Should I just trust that she’ll do what we want? We have a meeting well ahead of the rehearsal to discuss exact timing for the ceremony, for example, and her staff will even set up all the centerpieces and escort cards if we leave them there. Or, should I risk stepping on her toes and bring in someone who’s just focused on us? Am I worrying too much, or should I just appreciate the level of service the venue is offering?
Signed,
Day-of Dilemma

Dear Dilemma,
I’ve worked a few weddings in the past where after a couple of meetings I kind of think, “Okay, well, why am I here?” And the answer is “insurance.” Having someone there who, as you say, is just there for you, to be your advocate and emissary in case the things you’re really worried about (whatever those are) go wonky. You want to enjoy the day, and have someone else carry your very specific wedding vision checklist.

From your venue manager’s perspective, however, that’s great as long as no one is questioning her every move, getting in her way, or trying to fix a system that’s not broken. The inevitable “I’ll do it!” vs. “No, WE do it” conflict is probably what she meant by “grumpy”!  So, be very clear with your friend – if you do decide to “hire” her – as to what her responsibilities should be. I’d focus on four things: Pre-wedding tasks – delivering placecards and favors to the venue to set up, morning errands like picking up your bouquet from the florist so you can have them for getting-ready shots. What do you need and when do you need it? Vendor management on the day of – Do they have the resources and time to do the best jobs they can? Bridal and wedding party wrangling – where is everyone, and where do they need to be and when?  Break-down – what needs to get tossed, sent back to whatever company it came from, or taken by friends and family? That can be a scramble at the end of the night, especially if you have a deadline to get out of the space. But,the most important thing for her to do, and the the first things she should do,  is to to ask the venue coordinator how she can facilitate what is already being done. How can she help the venue staff help you? That’s the way that everyone wins.

Do you have any burning wedding questions right now? Contact me and let me know what’s up!

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith

John and Colette Photography

Are you following me on Instagram @lizcharm? You should be.