Ask Liz: That ISN'T Necessary

This is from a column I wrote on The Broke Ass Bride a while back – It’s so funny, though, because I’m still running into variations of these same questions this year. Theme: Don’t drive yourself nuts, please. Or, let others drive you nuts. 

Whatever. Haters gonna hate, and you don’t have time for that. Photo:Teeny Jewels

Dear Liz,
What should I do about my engagement ring? Some say it’s to small, and he should have waited to give me a respectable ring. I know he wasn’t able to get anything bigger, and I love it, but people always have something to say. How do I stop the chatter without being emotional?
Signed,
Size Matters

Dear Matters,
First of all, I don’t know who it is that won’t let this go – friend, foe, family – but they’re being obnoxious. And rude. Keep that in mind. You can’t stop them from talking about it, but you don’t have to take it. The next time they bring it up, calmly reply , “I love my ring. And I love my fiancé and I’m glad that he didn’t wait until he could afford something bigger, because that means I get to marry him sooner.” Repeat as necessary.  I mean, if you think about it, it’s kind of cool – he wanted that locked down, ASAP. Keep that in mind, too.

Dear Liz, Should I send save the dates to vendors?
Signed,
STD Stumped

Dear Stumped,
You know, that’s never even occurred to me. I ask my couples to give me one of their invitations, if they have an extra one, but I don’t think it’s necessary or expected. It’s not like your vendors are going to forget what day your wedding is. And, if they do forget, you have bigger problems.
Dear Liz,
Are welcome bags an absolute must-have? Our wedding is semi-destination and most of our guests are staying in rental homes, with only a few staying in the suggested hotels – which are scattered throughout the island. I’m thinking we should save ourselves the hassle, but I don’t know if it’s a faux pas!
Signed,
Worried Welcome

Dear Worried,
Nope, it’s not a faux pas, but given your circumstances, it’s definitely going to be a hassle. Welcome bags are another thing under “Nice, but not necessary.” If you really want to do it, you have their addresses, so send something before everyone flies out. Or, pass them out during a pre-wedding event that week, like the rehearsal dinner. Or, just upgrade your favors. Whichever one appeals to you the most, aesthetically and logistically.

What do you need wedding-wise, right now? Contact me and we’ll talk about the details. I can’t wait to find out what you need to create a wonderful day…

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith
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