The Rules For Bending The Rules

When I talk about bending wedding rules, yes, I’m talking about little stuff, like pulling up a sign or furniture. But I’m also talking about bigger things, like violating the sound ordinances by keeping the music on past 11 pm, or throwing confetti or glitter around that has to be picked up, piece by piece, at the end of the night. If you find yourself thinking “Oh, it doesn’t matter, I’ll put it back later,” or “It’s just two more songs”, yes, it does matter, and no, it’s not.

Every wedding venue and wedding vendor has rules that you agreed to when you signed your contract with them. And if you bend or break them without notice, it will literally cost you. But if exiting your wedding in a shower of rose petals is your dream, or that bench is where the s’mores station should be, then follow these rules:

The first rule of bending any rules is getting clear on what those rules are. I tell my couples to re-read their contracts- again- at least a few days before their wedding, specifically paying attention to the “don’ts”, “cannots”, “musts”, and the penalties and fees for breaking those. For ALL of your vendors. All of them. Don’t spring a “Can you stay late to take more group pictures?” or “Oh, hey, we need two more kids’ meals” on your wedding day. Understand what’s going to happen next.

The second rule of bending the rules is to ask if you can bend them and how. This is not your vendors’ first rodeo (hopefully). If you tell them what you want, they might say “sure,” but most likely they’ll suggest a different or better place for the s’mores, a better time for the class of ’16 reunion picture, the cost of cobbling together a kids’ meal from a non-show guest meal, or recommend DoorDash. Don’t surprise them, that comes with ill will, immediate counter-action, or a bill. Before you do anything that might not go over, ask first.

Spread the word with your wedding party and family, too. Anything they move or toss or put down without a coaster under it, you have to clean or pick up, or pay the venue $500+ to do it . This doesn’t always work, obviously, but, you know, do your best.

Bottom line: Don’t assume. ASK.

Let’s talk about your wedding. What do you need right now? Complete the form below, and I’ll get back to you today, or call/text me directly at 323-592-9318, or email me at liz@silvercharmevents.com.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith