3 Assumptions You Should Stop Making About Your Wedding

Photo: John and Collette Photography, Flowers: Inessa Nichols Design

A while back, I wrote Three Assumptions They’re Making About Your Wedding, a list of what people really won’t stop bugging you about, ever. But after talking to a lot of couples in the past few weeks, I’m starting to realize that you’re making a lot of assumptions about your wedding too:

1. That the minute you step into Wedding World, everyone is trying to rip you off.

This one drives me a little nuts, as you can imagine. Wedding World can get expensive, but a lot of that is because you’re buying in bulk — One $40 centerpiece is going to cost less than 10. One hundred meals at $50+ a person is going to cost more than one.

You’ve heard it a million times, and I’ve heard it a bunch recently: “Once you put the word “wedding” in front of something, it doubles the price.” It’s even considered a money-saving strategy to lie about the event you’re planning, in order to get a lower quote. First of all, that never works, eventually they figure it out, and second of all? It makes you look like a jerk.

Another reason is that weddings do require a little more effort than your average party. If you think about the combination of logistics and of meeting expectations,  it’s a lot of work to give you the wedding experience you want. Some of us charge more for that than others, true.  But just because you can’t afford it, doesn’t mean it’s a scam — you just can’t afford it. It’s like the Christian Louboutins I keep stalking at Nordstrom. Love them, cannot afford them, so I’ll have to stick to Nine West at Macy’s for now. And like you sticking to your budget, I don’t mind that much, because Nine West shoes are comfortable.

Bottom line: You do not have to hire me/that photographer/that venue if the price is uncomfortable for you. Instead, figure out what you can get with what you can afford.

2. That you have to do things the way they’ve “always” been done “traditionally.”

You only really need five things to get married: You, your intended, an officiant, a marriage license, and a public affirmation that you want to get married. The rest of your wedding is up to you,  so, do what you want! If you don’t want to walk down an aisle, don’t walk down the aisle. If you don’t want to sit, on display, at a sweetheart’s table, sit with your friends at their table. Long tables instead of rounds? Go for it.  If you don’t want cake, have cookies. If you don’t want to wear a white dress, wear black. Create a wedding that you’re going to love and your guests will remember. Why not? Don’t ask “Can we do that?” ask, “How do we do that?” There’s always going to be someone around with an answer.

3. That your wedding exists outside time and space.

On your wedding day, it is still going to take however long to get from point A to point B, and then twice that to get back again. If it rains, it’s going to rain on you. If it’s 100 degrees outside, it’s going to be 100 degrees on you. If you have to be out of your venue by 10pm, 11:00pm is not going to work. If your photographer is contracted for 6 hours, seven hours is not going to fly. The bar, like at your favorite restaurant, needs enough bartenders to serve all its guests. If there isn’t a kitchen, one needs to be built. If there is a kitchen, it needs to be staffed. Just like your favorite restaurant, guests need to have a place to sit, and a reasonable amount of time before they eat. And I could go on.

But, A) you’ve never done an event this big before, and B) you’re picturing the forest, instead of the trees that make it up. Example: you want to serve coffee to your guests. You order the coffee maker, but forget about the cream pitchers. Or the sugar pot. Or the coffee, for that matter. Because it always comes with it, right? Map it all out, and plan accordingly.

What other questions do you have about the day? Fill out the contact form below and I’ll get back to you ASAP to schedule a consultation, or call/text me directly at 323-592-9318.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith